The divorce process is never a time that is simple, but there are some things you can do to avoid making things worse than they have to be. Emotions and high and there are many difficult decisions that have to be made. As you go through the process from beginning to end you are bound to do a few things you will regret later. Use these guidelines to help you avoid major mistakes that can turn a difficult process into a disaster.
First and foremost, you will want to avoid making any major decisions based on emotional feelings. If you are the one filing, make sure you discuss with your attorney all of the details of the divorce and confirm that they understand that you do not want a lengthy drawn out court battle. When couples end up in court fighting over small issues the lawyers make money for their time and in the end it may not have been worth the cost of the fight. A good lawyer will advise you when it is truly necessary to fight in court be weary of a lawyer whose first suggestion is the courts.
Another major mistake people often make in divorce is assuming that they know what their spouse is thinking. Making an assumption about someone else often leads to unwarranted bitterness and a breakdown in calm negotiations. One of the easiest ways to make it through a divorce is to try to put your feelings aside and be willing to sit face to face with your spouse, lawyers and or a mediator to work through the details of your divorce. Having these conversations in person can help prevent miscommunications and can help move the process along quickly. If you and your spouse are able to work out and agree upon simple division of assets you may even be able to cut the cost of your divorce significantly and use a lawyer who specializes in quick divorces. This will enable you to both move on with your lives faster.
Blame is often thrown around on both sides of a divorce. Try to keep the question of who’s to blame out of the legal divorce proceedings. The reality of the situation is that there will be hurt feelings on both sides of your relationship. While you may not want to hear it, a marriage rarely breaks down because of one person. Even if there was a single event that caused you to finally get divorced, chances are, you have been having problems with the relationship that you were not acknowledging long before the end.
Once you introduce children into a divorce, things become even more complex. All of the emotions, decisions, and court battles will now not only affect you and your spouse, but your children as well. While staying in an unhealthy relationship is not good for the children, neither is putting them through a messy divorce and forcing them to pick sides. When you are getting divorced and have children, you should talk to your spouse a reach an agreement that the children are not pawns in your fight. Try to avoid having arguments in front of them and never use them as a bargaining chip.
Check out the divorce resources at www.EphraimLaw.com